Lately

Lately I've been thinking. Over and over. Over and over again. Until I post this.

My life has never been this complicated before. And I'm not going to blame anyone for this. But looks like I'm going to blame myself for all the things happen to me.

I'm just fuckin tired of being rejected. Being everyone's second best. Being their alternatives.


I know that we should never expect something that we give to be given back to us. I know. But I hate myself for always be like this.

I hate myself who can easily forgive but not forget.
I hate myself who can't even hate someone because I love them. Very much.
I hate myself who always envy others for anything I don't and can't have.
I hate myself who always cry like a baby
I hate myself.