Rindu

Aku tak pernah merasa begitu mengenalmu.
Dan jelas sudah bahwa kita pun tak pernah berjumpa.
Tak sekalipun. Tidak secara langsung.

Aku tahu, engkau ada.
Dan aku ada, karena engkau ada.

Namun selama ini akulah yang selalu pergi...
Menjauh, bahkan sebelum sempat mengenalmu lebih jauh.
Berbicara denganmu, bercerita tentang hal di sekitarku.

Bahkan berusaha pun tidak, apalagi untuk menggembirakan dirimu.

Dan kini tiba-tiba aku merasa rindu padamu.
Rindu yang teramat sangat, seakan-akan aku telah lama tak bersua denganmu.

Rindu yang tak tertahankan, bergejolak dalam darah, bergolak meminta bertemu denganmu.
Ya, denganmu.

Awalnya aku malu, malu mengungkap rasa rindu yang teramat sangat ini.
Takut dicerca, dihina sekitar.
Namun seperti yang telah aku katakan, rindu ini ada dalam jiwa dan ragaku.
Tak tertahankan walau terkungkung dalam topeng.

Namun ternyata topeng itu terbuat dari kaca, begitu memesona, namun begitu rapuh.
Dan kini,
Topeng itu retak, pecah satu-persatu.
Menguak isi dalam topeng yang rapuh.

Dan demikian pula rindu ini, semakin lama semakin terlihat begitu membara.

I'm Home

Finally, this post may become one of my happy post ever.

There are a lot of things I would like to share.

About a trip that turned out to be a total chaos, but on the other side, it teach me about the importance of patience.

About a faith that I finally found out. A faith that I choose to live with.


But the most important thing is: Now I'm Home.

Real Home.

a Home with capital "H"

A home that is full of my beloved three people.

Three people who will be always loved by me no matter what they've done to me, bad or good.

Three people who will be always defended by me when anyone turn they down or make them sad.

Three people I can't live without.

Start

Do I change? Or I just found out the different side of me which has been hidden all the time?

Or it's just the time.

Time for me to change? Or time for me to show my other side?

I start to doubt everything I used to believe.

1. I start thinking about somethings I would never think about.
2. I start being panic because I'm afraid everyone's gonna think that I'm going crazy.
3. I start to think that some people are just trashes - the people that I used to love.
4. I start to think that what I am believe now, should be believed by everyone, else go to point no. 2.
5. And I start to think that maybe it's just me, who doesn't fit with this kind of world I've been living all my life.

If this is temporary, I hope that I can pass it smoothly. I don't need fast, I need comprehension.

But if this is going to be forever, like FOR EVER, then I guess I shouldn't live anymore. It's just useless, right?

Sin (s)

Every human has his own sin (s).
Even though they've tried hard to hide it, they still have it.


I have so many sins, even much.
I admit it, and I live with it.
I try hard not to do it, but doesn't mean I deny it.

Sin is one of the many of human's characteristics.
It makes human, human.

Without it, you're not human, you're an angel. But you're still human (physically).


Sins are made to be done by human.
Not without a reason.
I believe every little thing in this world, dead or alive, has its own reason to be exist.

And so does Sin.

How about you?