Loner

There are sometimes when you want to withdraw yourself from anyone.

But in the end, you're get upset because no one shows up.
Sent from my AXIS Worry Free BlackBerry® smartphone

Jalan-Jalan: Ragusa

Di tengah-tengah kesibukan gue kerja, kuliah, skripsi, dan mengajar, syukurnya gue masih punya waktu buat bersenang-senang. Hihihi. Jadi, setelah merantau hampir empat tahun lamanya di Jakarta, didapatkanlah fakta bahwa gue belom pernah:

Story About: #2 The Kitten

Have you ever seen the cat and its kittens? I bet most of you have seen them almost everywhere. This time, I would like to tell you a story about the kitten from its point of view based on my assumption. This is fully inspired by the cat and its three kittens now living in my boarding house.

Mom left. Again.

Well, I guess I can't go out again. Mom will yell if I dare to go out and play. But wait... Where's my other siblings? Geez, being the youngest really sucks. They always leave me alone. I have to find them and join the play, but... Ah, I'm scared.

So she waited in the darkness under the logs and boxes. Waiting faithfully for her Mom to come. Then she thought,

Where is Mom? When will she come back? Will she come back? Is she alright?

Suddenly, she heard big steps coming.. Closer and closer.

"Graowl..!" She jumped and tried to claw that creature. It almost stepped on me.

It failed. Then she looked up.

Wow. it's gigantic. And she started to step back when the giant grab her body and put her up.

"What a cute kitten! Let's eat some food. I got fried fish from lunch, we can eat it together!"

That's the beginning of their friendship. She got new friend, whom she always wait, just like her Mom.

Yes, her Mom, who never come back again since the day she meet her new friend.

When you lose some, you will get some. Don't be afraid to lose, someday you'll understand why.

Halo!

Akhirnya tiba juga saatnya gue memasuki semester sekaligus tahun terakhir gue berkuliah demi gelar S1. Whoa, sejujurnya gue gak terlalu excited dengan hal ini. Yah, mungkin karena gue memang tipe orang procrastinator, jadinya malas untuk segera menyelesaikan kuliah ini. Sedikit curhat lah ya, kan gue jarang curhat blak-blakan di blog ini, paling sering juga curhat berkode dengan puisi-puisi, lirik, dan quote galau *sadar*.

Random: Sleep

I would like to watch you sleeping,
which may not happen.
I would like to watch you,
sleeping. I would like to sleep
with you, to enter
your sleep as its smooth dark wave
slides over my head

and walk with you through that lucent
wavering forest of bluegreen leaves
with its watery sun & three moons
towards the cave where you must descend,
towards your worst fear

I would like to give you the silver
branch, the small white flower, the one
word that will protect you
from the grief at the center
of your dream, from the grief
at the center. I would like to follow
you up the long stairway
again & become
the boat that would row you back
carefully, a flame
in two cupped hands
to where your body lies
beside me, and you enter
it as easily as breathing in

I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary.

taken from Variation On the Word Sleep by Margaret Atwood

Story About: #1 The Story

So, I decide to create a new section to improve my writing skill, and also to keep this blog updated! The section will be named "Story About" and it will be different story in every post. Single post then DONE. For the start, I will tell you the story about the story.

I open it. Years ago. Yes, I do remember, I open it when I was a child. Why is it here? How?

So I approach it. Then I look at it. Finally I touch it. It looks old. The last time I saw it it was so new. So small and thin.

Yes, it looks different, but I don't know, it is the same thing as the one I saw years ago. Yes, I am certain.

Then I hold it, it is so heavy! And crumbly. I guess it's very old.

Then, I open it.

Dearly Beloved

Do you know that I'm speaking to you? No, I'm screaming. Yet you never realize it.
Do you know that I love you too much that it hurts me?

All my life, I can say, my biggest hope is you. And I'm your biggest disappointment.

I never hate you, at least my hatred will never be equal with my love for you. My love to you.

I don't know what I should do to make you love me the way I love you.
Oh no, I don't even know how to make you feel my love.

Janji yang Nyata

Bertahun aku menunggu.
Dan ternyata harapan itu nyata.
Janji itu ada.

Ini tahun ke 22.
Tahun dimana akhirnya aku memeluk dirimu.
Bukan, akhirnya kau yang memelukku.
Aku terkesiap, ingin rasanya meneteskan air mata.

Tapi kutahan itu,
Aku takut kau bertanya mengapa

Lalu kau menciumku
Pipiku disentuh bibirmu itu
Ya, bibir yang selama ini aku harap mau

Hanya melihat tawamu, tanpa sadar aku pun ikut tertawa.
Paling tidak kini cinta itu pun terbalas.

Bahagia

Apa sebenarnya bahagia itu?

Hingga sekarang aku rasa definisi bahagia itu masih terus kurang, masih harus terus diperbaharui, masih perlu amandemen di sana-sini.

Sekarang, definisi bahagiaku masih ini:

Hidup tenang

Ya, tenang. Berada di tengah orang-orang yang mencintaiku. Walau terkadang cara pengekspresian cinta mereka tidak aku mengerti. Aku lelah mengejar sesuatu yang semu. Sesuatu yang aku kira nyata. Semakin kukejar, semakin hilang. Pudar.

Kukira sudah saatnya memperbaharui definisi kebahagiaan itu menjadi:

Menemukan pasangan jiwa

Dan itu tak harus selalu berupa kekasih. Berupa pria. Berupa manusia.

Mari kita lihat saja nanti, toh aku masih mencari.